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Critical Hit

by Bingly and The Rogues

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1.
Can’t hold my reins cuz my arms are short Can’t wear no boots cuz my toes get sore I scare the cattle every time I roar If I get hungry just eat my horse Don’t need spurs I just use my claws Don’t need no gun I got scary jaws I’m riding nekkid I’m too big for drawers Don’t need no sheriff Imma break the laws I’m a cowboy dinosaur A t-rex on a horse I’m a big ole carnivore I’m cowboy dinosaur Headed for the saloon Meetin’ you at high noon Don’t let these scales fool you Chomp you like a macaroon Sit myself down by the toughest gun fighter Don’t you worry I’m a lover not a biter My cold blood won’t let me down Toughest reptile in this town I’m so old I am Jurassic Thunder king is real bombastic Teeth are long my tail’s fantastic You are cool but I’m a classic Look at me what do you think Why am I so green? Why am I so green? Why are you so pink? I’m a cowboy dinosaur A t-rex on a horse I’m a mean one that’s for sure I’m cowboy dinosaur
2.
Good Day 01:56
She asked Do you know the song On the radio Well I turn it up And everybody goes Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh You (we) stood up In the sun Turned to me And began to run And all that I could do Was run along with you And we all sang let’s go Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh When I see your face I know I’m gonna have a good day When I see your face I know I’m gonna have a good day When I see your face I know I’m gonna have a good day She asked Do you know the song On the radio Well I turn it up And everybody goes Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
3.
37 Days Ago 02:17
So tell me what would happen If I never had to shower again Would I really smell all that bad Or would I lose all of my friends It’s such a giant waste of my time To rinse and lather and repeat again You know that water is in short supply We should be drinking it instead I do not need a bath tonight I took one thirty seven days ago No I don’t want to fight I’ll just wash my hands and go Oh ee oh ee oh eeoh eeh oh Oh ee oh ee oh eeoh eeh oh So tell me what would happen If I never brushed my hair again Would it really be a rat’s nest Maybe I could shave it off instead It’s such a giant waste of my time To comb and braid and tease and comb again Worry about your hair not mine Maybe I like bed head instead I don’t need to brush tonight I did it thirty seven days ago No I don’t want to fight I can just put on a hat and go Oh ee oh ee oh eeoh eeh oh Oh ee oh ee oh eeoh eeh oh Oh ee oh ee oh eeoh eeh oh Oh ee oh ee oh eeoh eeh oh
4.
I named her Sputnik She was no normal chick She always stood outside Looking up at the sky Knew what I had to do To make her dreams come true Built her a rocket ship Now it’s time for her big trip I hope she’ll think of me As she floats in zero gravity She’s one tough lady She ain’t poultry, she’s my… chicken astronaut I’m gonna launch her into space she’s my chicken astronaut She’ll have a helmet round her tiny face she’s my chicken astronaut She’s gonna make it to the moon she’s my She’s a chicken astronaut I hope she comes back soon I built a launching pad Out of five soda cans I made her a spacesuit Out of my winter boots I hope she’ll think of me As she floats in zero gravity She’s one tough lady She ain’t poultry, she’s my… chicken astronaut she’s gonna travel super far she’s my chicken astronaut she’s gonna fly among the stars she’s my chicken astronaut she’s gonna orbit around the sun She’s a chicken astronaut she won’t come back ‘til she’s well done
5.
I’m a ranger, my name is Jellybean Granger I’ll save us all when we’re in mortal danger I love woodlands, my favorite terrain I will litter all the paths with the enemies I’ve slain I hate giants, dislike creatures of the dark but before I use my bow, I will use my hunter’s mark follow all your tracks, stalk you in the gloom enemies beware and prepare to meet your doom I’m a wizard named Blaze I do amaze When I cast fireballs through a fog-cloud haze Eye to eye with a beholder, I bring the smoulder Can’t lift a rock but disintegrate boulders I’ll feeblemind your banshee, just wait and see all I need is some spellslots above level three and my school of evocation brings celebration we’ll beat the final boss and we’ll save the nation Use your inspiration to re-roll that saving throw You just crited a bug bear, you are stronger than you know You’re gonna need a long rest, and more arrows for your bow You’re playing role, you’re playing a role I play a life domain cleric, my name is Derrick, you’ll want me around when we’re off to fight the Tarrasque Healing’s my vocation, lesser restoration you die, I revive no need for compensation And did I mention divine intervention when I pray you’ll end up in a different dimension as for skeletons, entering the fray I will turn undead and they all run away I’m a half-orc barbarian, my name is Marian I’m six foot seven and a strict vegetarian I’m mythical when I hit with brutal critical my hammer smashes heads, no, it’s not political I’m a berserker, and when it’s time to fight I am stronger by far than my enemies combined I will rage like a machine I will knock you to the ground and I’ll pop back up instead of going down Use your inspiration to re-roll that saving throw You just crited a bug bear, you are stronger than you know You’re gonna need a long rest, and more arrows for your bow You’re playing role, you’re playing a role
6.
Dad: Honey, it’s time for bed. Do you want me to sing you a lullaby? Kid: OK Hey little butterfly now you know that it is Time to go to bed Time to rest your head And to dream of what’s to come Dad: Good night honey. I love you. Kid: Hey dad? Dad: Yes honey? Kid: It’s time to dance! Dad: Honey no no, It’s not dance time. No no, it’s not time to dance. It’s not dance time. Please. Please, just - no no no. Just calm down. Stop dancing, stop dancing stop. Oh thank you. It’s time to dance. Dad: No, uhh.. no. Please. No. get off the bed. Please. Why is the dog in here? Is the dog dancing? What is going... will you guys just cut it out. PLease! Mom: what’s going on in here? Dad: Oh, I was trying to get her to sleep, and then there was dancing... Mom: Did you try singing the lullaby? Dad: I did, but it didn’t really work. Mom: Well, maybe we should sing it together. Dad: Alright. Darling now close your eyes and lie down cuz it is Time to go to sleep Time for counting sheep And to dream until the dawn Mom: Oh look, she’s almost asleep! Dad: I think she’s going to have a hard time staying asleep though. Mom: Why is that? Dad: Cuuuuuz, it’s time to dance! It’s time to dance It’s time to dance It’s time to dance It’s time to dance It’s time to dance Jake: Are your neighbors having a party? Laura: No they do this every night. I think it’s their bedtime routine. It’s time to dance It’s time to dance It’s time to dance It’s time to dance It’s time to dance It’s time to dance It’s time to dance It’s time to dance It’s time to dance It’s time to dance It’s time to dance
7.
La première fois je suis allé au Québec, j’étais nerveux Je pensais que je n’apprendrais jamais à parler ne jamais être capable de dire “j’ai besoin” ou volou ni être capable de dire “s’il vous plaît” ou “désolé” When I arrived in Quebec I was feeling so nervous So sure I’d never be able to speak for myself Never be able to say what I’d want, what I’d need or even the words I first learned, like “mom” and “dad”, and “thanks” and “please” Mais je vaux chanter laisse ma voix être entendue Mais aujourd’hui j’ai pas peur, I’m not scared, I’ll say anything C’est pas parfait, mon accent, et mes verbes magané Though it’s not perfect, it takes courage to try and to fail, even to succeed je suis moi-même, I’m myself, c’est pas un choix, I can only be me Et je vaux chanter laisse ma voix être entendue
8.
Oh ah ah ah oh In summer time I step outside And fall under your spell Open my arms up wide Like a ship opens its sail And I get carried away By all the signs and sounds and smells I want to live in this moment And never be anywhere else I like it here where I am I like it here where I am oh oh I like it here where I am I like it here where I am oh oh I like it here where I am I like it here where I am oh oh I like it here where I am I like it here where I am oh oh And I never want summer to go Oh ah ah ah oh Days shine brighter than the sun But end faster than raindrops fall Throw on some Bruno Mars And dance until it’s dark No watching clocks that tick Just listening to someone hit A home run right out of the park I like it here where I am I like it here where I am oh oh I like it here where I am I like it here where I am oh oh I like it here where I am I like it here where I am oh oh I like it here where I am I like it here where I am oh oh I like it here where I am I like it here where I am oh oh And I never want summer to go
9.
More Curious 02:17
I wear all black They don’t like that They prefer pink and think I should I love big books They give me strange looks I’d go barefoot If I could If I love you then I’m gonna let you know And if I wanna dance I’m gonna let it go And I’ll never waste a single sunny day Cuz I’m gonna be more curious than afraid These days I feel less lonely Cuz you know me Like we’re the same You are strange and So amazing I was waiting So glad you came If I love you then I’m gonna let you know And if I wanna dance I’m gonna let it go And I’ll never waste a single sunny day Cuz I’m gonna be more curious than afraid We get lost in the woods Our secret neighborhood It’s only for me and you It’s time to get away Don’t want to waste the day Let’s go and be free If I love you then I’m gonna let you know And if I wanna dance I’m gonna let it go And I’ll never waste a single sunny day Cuz I’m gonna be more curious than afraid
10.
There once was a girl who lived on an island in a crumbling tower of stone She lived there by herself while her friends the eagles brought her salmon and kelp from the shore She looked out over the briny waves in her bower of silver she stood all alone and she wished she could be and fly like the eagles or at least make it to the far shore Then one day on an icy winter’s morning in the blistering, shivering cold she saw a tiny boat approaching it was made out of glass and of gold A boy jumped onto the frozen rocks He was dressed like a knight in a sky-blue cloak He climbed up to the base of her tower and he gingerly opened the door He saw the girl and said ‘Stay back! I have come for you, Witch of the North!’ But the girl just smiled and took hold of his hand and the knight, he was turned into stone The girl set off in the small glass boat she disappeared and was seen no more So be kind to all girls, for you never know if you’re not, you might turn into stone
11.
Lyrics Slept through my alarm and I was running out the door Grabbed a pair of pants that I saw lying on the floor Jumped onto the bus and saw a seat next to my friend But I could not sit down because them pants they would not bend These ain’t my pants that I’m wearing something’ ‘bout them just ain’t sitting right These ain’t my pants So please stop staring They’re way too short and squeezing me too tigh Everyone just laughs at me as I stride down the hall I’m walking kinda weird cuz I can’t feel my legs at all These pants look like they’re painted on, whose are they anyway? I feel like such a nincompoop they’re ruining my day These ain’t my pants That I’m wearing Something’ ‘bout them just ain’t sitting right These ain’t my pants So please stop staring They’re way too short and squeezing me too tight When I got home my mom she just took one look at me And said, why are you wearing brother’s pants – they’re too small don’t you see I said I know mom I spent the whole day inside these silly jeans Now go on get and grab some scissors and cut them off of me These ain’t my pants that I’m wearing something’ ‘bout them just ain’t sitting right These ain’t my pants So please stop staring They’re way too short and squeezing me too tight
12.
My Cat 01:19
My cat is black and white and has sharp teeth He likes to nip at ankles, make you bleed He is a bright cat He is a nice cat But also kind of mean Oh, hey there little guy. This song’s about you. Here, listen. I really love my cat despite his flaws (oooow) I’m really not enamored of his claws (oooow) He is a bright cat (oooow, not the face) He is a nice cat (ooooww) But also kind of mean (ooooww) OK I’ll stop singing. It’s over, OK? Better? *purring* Nice kitty

about

Fun and funny music for kids that you won't mind playing over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over again.

About Bingly and The Rogues:
We are a group of musicians and friends from Nova Scotia, Canada who came together to create fun and funny music for kids. We’re quite an eclectic group consisting of professional actors/singers (Laura), award-winning family musicians (Jeremy), acclaimed jazz musicians/professors (Jake, Paul), school teachers with serious singing chops (Jenn), lyrical wizards/professors (Ranke), young geniuses with amazing voices (Sadie), brilliant designers, (Ashley), and talented vocalists (Natasha, Glenda). Also, half a dozen actual kids (ages 4 to 12) that sing on a few tracks! Overseeing the production of the album is writer/actor/science guy Justin. Many of us have kids of our own, and we wanted to create an album of songs that we’d want to sing (and laugh) along to together!

Track List:
Cowboy Dinosaur
Good day
37 days ago
Chicken astronaut
Roll initiative
It’s time to dance
Je vaux chanter
I like it here where i am
More curious
Girl of the north
These ain’t my pants
My cat

The Rogues:
Justin – Rogue Master General
Laura – Yodel Rogue
Ranke – Lyrical Rogue
Jake – DM Rogue
Sadie – Velvet Rogue
Jeremy – Croon Rogue
Jenn – Belt Rogue
Paul – Brass Rogue
Natasha – Harmony Rogue
Ashley – Brand Rogue
Glenda - Rocking Rogue
Christine - Puppet Rogue

Kid Rogues:
Mila – Raptor Rogue
Harriet – Chicken Rogue
Mary Kate – Quiet Rogue
Lucas – Monster Rogue
Amaranth – Fairy Rogue
Eva – Diva Rogue
Sela – Tiny Rogue
Beau – Chill Rogue
Madelief – Daisy Rogue
Thijmen - Rogue Rogue
Pepijn - Fortnite Rogue
Miles - Kind Rogue

credits

released July 12, 2019

Bingly and The Rogues
Critical Hit
Copyright 2019 Bingly and The Rogues

Produced and Engineered by Justin Gregg
Assistant producers: Jake Hanlon and Ranke de Vries
Recorded at Bingly Studios, Antigonish, Nova Scotia
Mixed and mastered by Mike Shepherd, Lakewood Sound Studios, Point Aconi, Nova Scotia (June, 2019)
Design: Ashley Pettipas, Ranke de Vries, Christine Lomore
www.binglyandtherogues.com

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Bingly and The Rogues Nova Scotia

Fun and funny music for kids that you won't mind playing over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over again. We write music for and with children in the “lost” years of children’s music: ages 6 to 12.

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