I’m a ranger, my name is Jellybean Granger
I’ll save us all when we’re in mortal danger
I love woodlands, my favorite terrain
I will litter all the paths with the enemies I’ve slain
I hate giants, dislike creatures of the dark
but before I use my bow, I will use my hunter’s mark
follow all your tracks, stalk you in the gloom
enemies beware and prepare to meet your doom
I’m a wizard named Blaze I do amaze
When I cast fireballs through a fog-cloud haze
Eye to eye with a beholder, I bring the smoulder
Can’t lift a rock but disintegrate boulders
I’ll feeblemind your banshee, just wait and see
all I need is some spellslots above level three
and my school of evocation brings celebration
we’ll beat the final boss and we’ll save the nation
Use your inspiration to re-roll that saving throw
You just crited a bug bear, you are stronger than you know
You’re gonna need a long rest, and more arrows for your bow
You’re playing role, you’re playing a role
I play a life domain cleric, my name is Derrick,
you’ll want me around when we’re off to fight the Tarrasque
Healing’s my vocation, lesser restoration
you die, I revive no need for compensation
And did I mention divine intervention
when I pray you’ll end up in a different dimension
as for skeletons, entering the fray
I will turn undead and they all run away
I’m a half-orc barbarian, my name is Marian
I’m six foot seven and a strict vegetarian
I’m mythical when I hit with brutal critical
my hammer smashes heads, no, it’s not political
I’m a berserker, and when it’s time to fight
I am stronger by far than my enemies combined
I will rage like a machine I will knock you to the ground
and I’ll pop back up instead of going down
Use your inspiration to re-roll that saving throw
You just crited a bug bear, you are stronger than you know
You’re gonna need a long rest, and more arrows for your bow
You’re playing role, you’re playing a role
credits
from Critical Hit,
released July 12, 2019
Music: Justin Gregg, Jake Hanlon
Lyrics: Ranke de Vries, Justin Gregg
Vocals: Sadie Goering, Laura Teasdale, Jenn Priddle, Justin Gregg
Backup Vocals: Ranke de Vries, Natasha MacKinnon
Additional Voices: Jake Hanlon
Bass, Guitar: Jake Hanlon
Programming: Justin Gregg
Saxaphone: Paul Tynan
Fun and funny music for kids that you won't mind playing over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over again. We write music for and with children in the “lost” years of children’s music: ages 6 to 12.
This children’s record isn’t just for kids. Smoky soul grooves and bizarro pop chestnuts make for an entertaining listen. Bandcamp New & Notable Jul 21, 2018
Hooky songs that will appeal to kids and grown-ups alike, smash-cutting the irreverence of The Moldy Peaches with wild psychedelia. Bandcamp New & Notable May 30, 2020
This Seattle duo explore the more darkly psychedelic side of indie rock on this retrospective album, covering songs recorded from 2009-2019. Bandcamp New & Notable Jan 20, 2022